A Day in the ER

So I just woke up about hm I’m gonna say 4 hours ago, let’s say 0130. I realized I couldn’t breathe and my right eye is so swollen I can barely see out of it. So I decide that I’m alright and I’ll just get up and get a glass a milk… boy was I wrong.

After sitting down and drinking my glass of milk, the top of my nose (nasal cavity) feels like it has so much pressure that it will blow up soon. I got a big headache, I’m having trouble breathing and my eye is swollen shut almost.. For no apparent reason none the less. So I decide to take a trip to the emergency room and when I get there I realize my voice is also gone, so the lady is looking at me like I’m retarded while she’s asking my name, so I just write it down for her, let her know my ordeal and bam, I have my apron shirt thing on and I’ve got myself a bed. The doctor comes by and let’s me know I’ve got pink eye and probably nasal congestion so he has some nurse come in and give me an IV and promptly after that another nurse comes in and is ready to take my X-Rays.

I get my X-Rays of my chest done and the breathing is still continuously stressing so they have this lady come in and hand me some machine. She checks my temperature first by putting the thermostat under my tongue and clears me to go. I start sucking on this thing that should apparently clear my sinuses and make my breathing easier, little does she know it would not help, after she took the machine out of my mouth I’m wheezing.. I’ve never had any asthmatic problems or anything of that sort so I wasn’t too worried. The lady looked so annoyed with me that she just took the machine and left, just to later come back and give me a sinus clearing antibiotic into my IV and then a painkiller for my headache. Her not knowing a had to drive back here, she gave me a drowsy pill. So I’m driving home I get on the freeway and realize, “wow, I’m super tired..”, I start drifting into my right lane and almost slam a car, so I recuperate real quick and get my butt home.

Now I’m sitting here writting about it almost passed out and it is 1154.

Overall, hospitals really suck and are time consuming. Don’t use them.

Life’s Getting Harder

So this weekend ended up decently well. I picked up a friend that is in the USMC from Palm Springs Airport on Saturday around 3pm and we came down to party that Saturday night. Ended up good, we played beer pong and flip cup at my place and got super trashed. Sunday got to drive back to Palm Springs around 330pm and I didn’t get back home till around 7, during that time I think I just played a little Counter-Strike and then decided to go over to my girlfriends house, which didn’t end up that well because she was tired and hurting from her time of the month so I thought i’d be better if she just got some rest and I would see her tomorrow.

During the night something ended up happening and her mother had to be rushed to the E.R. – Thankfully she is okay but she will be confined in a facility for the next couple days.

“Things turn out best for those who make the best of the way things turn out.” -Jack Buck

Here’s a poem; Forever Gone

Her face is puffy and red, while painful tears stream down her sad face.
She cries out loudly, hoping someone will hear her silent screams.
So many voices going through her head,
telling her how better she would feel if she were dead.
She places her shaking hands over her ears, trying not to listen.
She yells out once again for help, yet no one comes to her rescue.
She then remains sitting there on her cold bathroom floor, while the clock ticks by.
Her body begins to shake uncontrollably, unable to stop it all.
Starting to realize that no one cares, feeling so alone and helpless.
She finally comes to the decision that there is only one thing left to do.
She brings her shaking hands together, closes her eyes and prays.
She speaks to god one last time and tells him this:

“Lord, I’m so tired and the pain inside doesn’t want to go away.
I can no longer shed anymore tears, for my eyes hurt me really bad.
The voices in my head don’t want to go away.
My heart aches so bad that it’s become too unbearable for me.
No one loves me, no one cares, no one wants me, and no one can help me now.
I tried being the good girl everyone wanted, but it wasn’t good enough.
All I wanted was for someone to love me God.
Was I asking too much?
I’m so sorry God but I have to end my suffering the only way I know how.
Please forgive me God for what I’m about to do.”

She opens her eyes for the last time, and quickly grabs for the razor blade.
She forces the sharp blade against her wrist.
She starts slitting her veins, deeper and deeper into her flesh.
The dark blood pours out more and more onto the floor all over.
Feeling weaker and weaker, becoming more and more unconscious by the seconds,
the blade drops from her hand onto that cold floor, her final resting place.
Her cold body now collapses to the floor and she slowly begins to feel the pain fade away along with her soul, finally falling into an endless sleep.
She lays there dead, yet free of pain.
It is now quiet, no screams, no tears, no suffering, just utter silence.